30 September 2007
For Your Kindness
Thank you, all of you who commented on my last post, for your kindness, for your caring, for reaching out. I didn't seem like I was around much but I checked in on your comments regularly and they comforted me. My experience with Western society is that people often don't know how to deal with other people's grief, that often they are consternated at the sight of another's tears, that sometimes there is an expectation that after a few days time one should be over it. One of the most common comments one hears is "I don't know what to say". But you all know the secret, say something, reach out, that's all a grieving person needs, a feeling of connection to the rest of humanity. A hug, a wordless gesture, even the, I-don't-know-what-to-says, they all work. There is no right answer, a grieving person isn't looking for answers, they're looking for kindness and warmth when the world feels particularly cold & they're in a place where they are easily isolated. And it takes time, grief. It's been a long week and our grief as co-workers, and his family's grief, will not go away tomorrow. We find solace in our shared memories of him, of the kindness of people in an uncertain world. Thank you.